Important do’s & don’ts on the day of SRAADDHA
(Excerpts from the chapters 'Sraaddha' from the book 'The Great Hindu Tradition' )
* During the course of the sraaddha there should be no playing of music (even devotional songs), no small talk or political debates and no gossip. It is believed that these types of activities put off the pitrus who might decide not to grace the occasion and may go back.
* The food should be cooked at home, preferably by the lady of the house. Nothing that is prepared on a previous day –including sweet or savoury items – should be used on the sraaddha day.
* In some houses the food is prepared as if for a samaradhana, using coconut etc. This is permitted – the satisfaction of invitees is important, and it is likely that such food will appeal to them. This should however be done only with the approval of the elders in the house. Of course vegetables and other items that are not to be
used in sraaddha cooking should be strictly eschewed.
* The food should be a fine balance between what is tasty and what is admissible.
* The ladies who cook and serve the food should be clean and dressed in madisar (nine-yard sari worn traditionally), and women having periods should stay away from the function.
* Food should be served hot. The serving should be professional and replete with hospitality. The Brahmins should be offered second helpings of side dishes and other items. However the food should not be thrust on them, and once they say ‘enough’, the serving should stop. Polite and cheerful serving of hot and tasty food goes a long way in making the sraaddha a complete success.
* The preparations should necessarily include items made of wheat, black gram, payaru and Gingely oil.
* Pitru sesha: The Karta and his brothers and sisters, sons, daughters and grandchildren and his sapinda jnatis are allowed to eat ‘sesha’ i.e. the food served after the brahmins have had their fill.
A person is also permitted to eat Sraaddha food at his in-laws’ place and at his maternal uncle’s house.
* Even persons not in the practice of sandhyavandana should compulsorily do trikala (three times) sandhyavandana on the Sraaddha day.
* The Karta should never ask any of the brahmins if the food is tasty or if they are relishing it.
* Black til is a mandatory item in the list and is usually made in the form of til balls. Please note that the til item should never be picked using the thumb and forefinger.
* Except the fruits and oil-fried food nothing should be served by hand: the ladle or spoon should be used. Salt should not be served separately. The karta should not eat till the sraaddha is over, and after the lunch he should fast for the rest of the day. Pitru sesha is eaten by some at night – this is not correct. Exceptions are however made for people with health problems, who may take some liquid food at night.
* Sraaddha karma should be commenced after doing madhyahnika. If the karta intends to give krusaram, he should take his second bath (called sraaddhanga snana) only after doing so.
* ‘Madi’ or purity is vital for a Sraaddha. Only vastras washed and dried that morning should be worn.
* If a person who can chant ‘Abhisravana’ is not available, the karta can chant suktadi, Puranas and slokas while the brahmins are having bhojana.
* Kolam should not be drawn on the sraaddha day, nor should puja bell be used. Anger, haste and any kind of rash behaviour should be completely avoided.
* The Karta would do well to abstain from talking to unrelated people or even reading letters etc, till he finishes the sraaddha bhojana, to the extent feasible.
* Steel vessels are not to be used in a Sraaddha.
* Kati sutra and panchakachcham are essential for a brahmin and are known to have great value and benefit for him. These should be worn at least on the sraaddha day.
* The daily nitya puja should be done after completion of sraaddha (for Vaishnavites there is some variation).
* If the karta is too unwell to perform the sraaddha he can get it done by someone else who is capable (it can even be his son).
POSTPONEMENT:
* Sraaddha should not be postponed at our will.
* It should be done on the same day (month, paksha and tithi) every year. * However, if 'theettu' (tainted period) comes it should be performed the very next day when the quarantine goes off.
Sarma Sastrigal